How often do we consider ourselves the problem, as opposed to putting the blame on others. How often do we point at ourselves first rather than pointing towards others. How often do I consider myself the cause of an issue, as opposed to thinking why everyone is so pissed off at me.
Rarely.
(If you're reading this then I am very well aware that you have stumbled across my entries by mistake, either a random typo or accidental click. I have no intentions of sharing my thoughts with others, that happens in my real life. Rather, I would like to re-express my concerns, and to whom else but myself. So if you do insist on reading be prepared for unexplained events and confusing phrases.)
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" and all hell broke loose when I offended Bella, yet again. As angry as I wish to be, I am more disappointed in myself. I justify my acts as accordingly, but its seems like anything I do is without concern for her well being, or feelings, or emotions. Did I really ignore all the important entities while I was doing what was? She seems to think so.
5 months into forever and we're finally seeing the clashes that we were too ignorant to see a year ago. Though with my past experience I'd expect myself to be well prepared, I'm not. Because though the same basic rules apply for all games: PLAY FAIR, SHOW SPORTSMANSHIP, NO CHEATING, it is a totally different ball game. In the beginning I honestly had trouble adjusting. My previous relationship was totally out-spoken, full of thresholds and clear limitations. With Bella, it was more traditional, figuring what will and will not work, a change of mindset totally. And for the record I have never preferred one relationship over the other, it is always about giving you all, 100%, when you start something you go through with it.
5 months into forever and I still adore her, if not more. Despite the problems that have occurred, most of them have probably been triggered by my need to adjust. So I am angry, and I am pissed. At myself for not being able to comprehend things at most times.
And what better way to reflect on your problems than express! Unfortunately for me, I have a sprained ankle, a week long headache, a township to design, a catering and delivery proposal to finish, a structure to price assess and tunnel to manage. So hello blog.
Life is a one way road. The moment you regret something you'll wish you can go back to change it. Make full use of what has happened zx, learn from these experiences. And for God's sake try not to be so nice to everyone, you seriously piss me off later on.
