Debilitated ~

On April 11th, Rhockaby is feeling : Debilitated ~

Happy Birthday Abuyah!

The need to preoccupy myself with distractions is wearing thin. A good sign that the healing process had completed, longer than I expected though. Either that or I'm getting bored with my daily routine. Anyways ... I don't really feel the urge to do things anymore.

A tournament is coming up and I haven't been training as hard as I should be. It's not so much of being lazy, its not having the heart to do so. No grasp on purpose.

I haven't been dancing much either. The crowd is always there, the dancers are always there, a fixed location within 5 minutes of walking time. No time? Oh please, if you really wanted to do something you would make time, regardless of your schedule. No excuses now eh?

(Oh cool, Champion League Man U (7) - Rome (1))

Instead, I find myself actually wanting to go to the library and study. I find myself going through notes rather than sketching. I find myself going swimming every time I have the urge to watch Family Guy. I find myself wearing red ... less. I have not bought a single new red garment in the past six months. I find myself growing my hair instead of keeping it short like I always do. I find myself pondering bout things to come rather than concentrating on things at hand. I cook my meals now more often than ever. I find myself listening more than talking. I find myself helping others, yet not being able to solve my own mysteries.

I'd hate to think people misinterpret this post as a cheap fishing attempt for a barrage of sympathy and concern related messages. It's not. It is a tender to those who can provide insight. A stranger's perception is usually unbiased though rarely authentic, but I'd like to know anyway.

Times are changing but it doesn't mean you should too. But what if you did it unwillingly, subconsciously? Does heart, desire and will give in to this primordial and fundamental instinct?

Or like I said, either that or I'm getting bored with my daily routine and should get an inamorata ASAP ... :)

"You taste like honey, honey, tell me can I be your honey?"