Thursday, September 4, 2008

res·ur·rect

- verb (used with object) to raise from the dead; bring to life again

The most disturbingly provocative quote that you have ever heard may be

"Who are you trying to convince? Me, or yourself?"

This was said by Brian's psychiatrist when Brian came in for a consult on what he should be doing with his life. Leave it to the creators of Family Guy to teach us all a lesson :D

Too many people decide to put on a facade rather than dealing with reality. Too many people think that by moving on as something never happened will actually help them move on. Too many people think that telling themselves they'll be okay, they are strong, they don't need it, will bounce them back into life in a jiffy. Denial at its best.

(And in your case, your break-up a few months back)

People need to come to terms with themselves. For once in your lives, leave you ego beside the warm crackling fireplace and run out into the storm. Leave those comforting quotes and blanket of idioms and self motivation and just stumble. Stop trying to control everything and just. Let. Go.

People hold back their tears just to prove they are strong. Who are you trying to convince.

People say what they had was stupid, useless, not worth crying over. Who are you trying to convince.

People put on a smile, laugh unruly, and act joyfully unscathed. Who are you trying to convince.

Who ARE you trying to convince? Because no one is buying it.

Because no matter how insignificant you think it was, it wasn't. It was special, it was euphoric. You were docile, you were a slave to it. It was the greatest moment of your life and it was going to go on forever. But it didn't, and that is something that you have to come to accept. That all that have could have and would have will never be. And when your greatest expectations and rushed down in a blazing inferno, what would be the humane thing to do?

"Go on, Cornelius, you can cry..." Bob, Fight Club

If Tuesday's With Morrie has taught you anything, it was how to accept defeat. How to accept loss. How to accept pain, and deal with it. Cry your heart out, get lost in oblivion, be the center of which the world revolves around and blame it for not making sense. Feel the loss, for loss only shows that you had something significant before. At times when it hurts most, let it hurt. Let it overwhelm you.

This, is what we would like to call, a dark moment.

(And I quote a confidant of yours,

"There are sometimes where I am totally okay without him, but then there are times when I feel like how can I live without him")

You have your dark moments, more often than you would like to. You do miss her so much, and from time to time the pain is ridiculously unbearable. But you let it overwhelm you, and you give in to it. Sometimes your mornings are sad, sometimes your nights are sad. But in turn, the day is always well lived :)

A dark moment is just that; a moment. Give into it at that time, and that's that. By accepting what is and what was, you can then proceed to truly letting go, giving yourself a chance to resurrect.

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