Decrepited ~

On August 12th, Rhockaby is feeling : Decrepited ~

"Zack, we've discussed this before."

"I know, I know ... but wouldn't I be off better doing something that I like?"

"The reason you're not doing it is because it won't earn you as much. Think realistically. Logically."

Like so many times before, Bee was right. Again.

I smacked my wrist.

'Oh ya, I forgot ...'

I look around. Hah, these guys must get over a couple hundred customers per day, and they still can't afford a clock? I wasn't wearing my watch, kinda forgot to put it on. You know that empty feeling you get when you're so used to wearing a watch and one day you just don't wear it? Kinda gets to you after awhile. Oh well, there's always my w810i.

"Bear me for another 20 minutes, Bee"

"You kidding? I enjoy these talks with you."

The feeling is downright mutual.

Lately old thoughts have been creeping back into my mind. I found myself conflicted on doing what I know I should be doing with what I know I love doing (Go ahead, don't be ashamed. Read the sentance a second time). I'm a 20 year old second year uni student of the Royal Melbourne Institute of TechMOlogy studying Civil and Infrastructure. Why am I doing this course. Two simple facts:

• I like numbers. A lot.
• My dad want's me to become a civil engineer, get a good job, earn lots and lots of money, be able to live an easy life, afford life's earthly luxuries and be the greatest example my siblings will ever witness.

I wanted to do something else. Computer science! I love coding. Back when mIRC was 'Da Thang', people were using all sorts scripts. I developed my own. When friendster came up with CSS customization, I had the initiative to learn CSS (from scratch), customize my page and even came up with a tutorial (which I reckon is sh|t since www.editfriendster.com came out :P). I started making games at the age of 15, and even during foundation studies I forced my friends to play em! *Sigh* I would have loved to do computer science.

Whatabout arts? I love drawing and designing! Nothing feels as complacent as a finished drawing on an A3 sized sketchpad drawn with a black marker and pen. Again, my frienster page has gone through countless renovations, each time a different theme, each time designed from ground zero. Designing programs are tools of creativity. 3DMax, Photoshop, Worldcraft, Vavle's Hammer ... I design models of 3d structures, countless maps for the infamous Counterstrike, hundreds upon hundreds of edited pictures. And yet everyday I turn pages of numbers numbers numbers (well in this semester's case facts facts facts.)

People have told me, countless times, that its good I have such a balance between my IQ and EQ. It lets me have that 'edge' over others. But I'll always be lacking one thing. Like so many things it is not quantity, but quality. Is it possible to excel in ALL that? Is it possible to be among the best in all catagories? Doing so many things in such a short period of time (trust me, we humas live longer than we should), is it even feasible?

I, Zack 'Rhockaby' Sabry, would like to think so. I'll be among the best in allllllll of that. I'll try hard and even harder. I'll strive to get better even when I think I''ve already done enough. I'm getting to the peak of the mountain, and when I reach there, I'll continue flying towards the heavens. I'll do good and make myself pround. Oh, and having the edge over you will just be a consolation. ;